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Tag Archives: why is life unfair

Redefining Societal Expectations of Parents

This post is dedicated to all those out there that were not so happy with the parent(s) they were born to….

Life is not something that can be explained in concrete terms.

Parents have children that they may not be ready to raise appropriately all the time.  Does that mean that they are bad parents?

My husband and I were watching a Steve Wilko Episode yesterday – about a mother who purposely got her daughter hooked on heroin just so that she could pay her bills from the prostitution money that her daughter was able to bring in.

Listen…….I can’t argue the fact that this woman was in every sense a “bad” parent……but, the daughter was able to move on with her life by managing to get to a rehab program and stick to it and despite the hardships and temptations of heroin, this young girl was able to bring herself out of the black hole of addiction.

Does that make her mother a good mother?

The mother who pushed heroin on her daughter ended up giving birth to a great kid……better than most……shouldn’t the mother get credit?

Everyone will agree that the mother gets no credit for raising a smart girl.

Buit….why does everyone also agree that the mother should pay with her life for raising a child that isn’t as smart.

Parenting is a funny thing.  If you suck at it…..you lose.

If you were great at it (in your opinion) you lose as well……because the credit goes to the child for the child’s own accomplishments.

Let me tell you about my life with my mother.

My mother was a child born to a set of holocaust survivors.  My grandfather was a survivor of Aushwitz, one of the most deadly concentration camps in Germany, and my grandmother was a survivor of various work camps….not deadly, but grueling for any human being to have to live through.

I remember hearing a story that my grandfather and grandmother used to tell with pride…….they used to brag about how well disciplined my mother was…….if she would dare leave the house with her sweatshirt on backwards (which apparently she did occasionally), they would beat her for it.

And many other stories like this one.

I was the first born of my parents.

I am not going to discuss my father, because that is going to be a different post all together….but I want to discuss my mother.

I grew up being scared shitless of her.  My brother and I used to hide when we would hear her bed creak – an indication that she was about to wake up and come and get us.

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Lawyers Work for Money – Not Integrity

NOTE: Cheryl from juststuffthatinterestsme.wordpress.com has provided me with the following link for anyone who is need of affordable legal assistance:  www.legalshield.com

You can go to her personal site and read more about how LegalShield has effectively helped some of their clients……-A True LegalShield Story

You can email Cheryl for more information at cheryl63@legalshield.com

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I hate to break the bad news to y’all, but the American legal system does not work in our favor……at least not for the majority us…….

First of all, if the case you need representation for is not easy to win….you can forget about finding a lawyer who will agree to get paid on contingency.

And nowadays, because lying and the skewing of facts are so prevalent in our society (and what attorneys are trained to do), laws have become so technical and complicated that 1) You cannot defend your own case, an attorney must be retained and 2) because of the technical detail, trying to prove anything becomes very difficult…..because some technicality is probably attached to the proof that makes almost all proof inadmissible as evidence.

And, if you happen to be going up against another person who happens to have money to buy a good attorney to defend themselves….you might as well save yourself the time and energy and chuck the whole thing up as “shit happens”

You may say to me that there are many free legal centers and pro bono lawyers……

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Easy Money – Chapter III

Every once in a while, I am going to post a chapter from a publication that the Breslov community in Brooklyn puts out which is based on the teachings of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov.  I will add my two cents on the bottom of the post and those of you who have a few more cents to add….please feel free.

Even though Rabbi Nachman was a Hasid, his teachings are applicable and potentially valuable to all of humanity

Visit my post “The Unique Teachings of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov” for a little introduction to who Rabbi Nachman is and why he is special.

Here are links to the first two chapters:

Easy Money – Chapter III

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Easy Money – Chapter II

Every once in a while, I am going to post a chapter from a publication that the Breslov community in Brooklyn puts out which is based on the teachings of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov.  I will add my two cents on the bottom of the post and those of you who have a few more cents to add….please feel free.

Even though Rabbi Nachman was a Hasid, his teachings are applicable and potentially valuable to all of humanity

Visit my post “The Unique Teachings of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov” for a little introduction to who Rabbi Nachman is and why he is special.

Easy Money – Chapter II

Despite the prevailing notion that there is no place for virtue in the competitive world of business, still making a good living means making an honest living!  For success of any lasting value has to be legitimately gained, and not acquired at the cost of your beliefs and ideals.

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Reflections of Yourself in Everyone You See

I don’t if this bothers everybody else the way it bothers me….but, it drives me crazy when people complain about the behaviors of others and then proceed to behave in the exact same way they themselves have just complained about.

It doesn’t bother me that they do it, it bothers me that they can’t see that they do it.

I am not bothered by the fact that they do it, because we all do it….but, try pointing it out to someone and watch their defense mechanism go up like a security gate at Area 51.

I don’t even bother trying to point out other people’s denials to them (directly), but I do realize that if other people are in denial…..I am in denial as well.

What I am in denial about is hard to say because I am in denial about it.

But….one way I try to figure it out is by listening to what those that I trust tell me. My kids and my husband are the best sources for this purpose. My daughters do not mince words when it comes to telling me when I am a hypocrite. Sometimes, I do not agree with their conclusions, but instead of becoming defensive, I try to think about what they are saying and if there is any behavior that is questionably hypocritical, I apologize for 1) behaving in a manor in which I have verbally stated that I disapprove of….and 2) disapproving of the behavior in the first place.

If I am able act in ways that I think are “wrong”….they may not be so wrong….who am I to judge?

But….if I proclaim to not like people who lie and I lie…..I should really try to stop lying….and denial is a form of lying.

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Multitasking…a Woman’s Road to Hell

Why do we do it?

Why do we feel the need to be perfect?

Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect make up, perfect career, perfect clothes, perfect home, perfect children, perfect life……..

And…since there aren’t enough hours in one day to do everything perfectly – we multitask.

We talk business during our yoga class. .  We keep up with  the latest fashion trends at work…..We take care of errands on our lunch break…..We clean the house and cook dinner while trying to pay attention to our children…..And we sleep while our husbands are waiting for us to tell them it is a good night to be intimate.

Why do we do this?  Who are we doing everything for?

If you are single and you have a great career that affords you the luxury of pampering yourself – great!!…..But…..how do you expect to add a husband and children into the mix…..unless you give part of that lifestyle up?

Some of you say its no problem….I can do it all.  I am woman.  Hear me roar.

But I want you to be honest with yourself…..we all have to do it at some point in our life…..can anyone really do it ALL – and not fail at something?

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Doing “Good Deeds” for Others is Overrated

I ran across an interesting post that implied that we do not need to do “good” deeds for others….here’s the link: Get Happy Tip – Don’t Do Good Deeds

I have never really wanted to come out and say it like that (although I always admire straight forward honesty)…I am glad that I have the opportunity to express how true this statement is to me.

First of all, the reason that I never wanted to write a post about the fact that we don’t have to do “good” deeds in order to be happy is because most spiritual books that you will read in your life imply that doing good for others brings happiness……which is something that I also agree with.

Another reason I have not come right out and said these words is because I find that people don’t like to accept certain aspects of themselves which makes it hard to convey the fact that doing “good deeds” can really be a very selfish act.

In fact, I believe that in most cases it is…..due to the fact that most of us delude ourselves and deny the true intentions behind our behavior.

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