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Category Archives: How to Live a Purpose Driven Life

Who Are You?

This question is so cliche – we don’t even know the meaning of this question.

A few years ago, if someone would  have asked me this question, I would have looked at them straight in the eyes, while trying to keep a straight face, and I would have responded….” I am Glinda, the good witch of the South.”

What does this question mean and if we are anyone besides who we think we are, how would we know the answer?

That is the reason why this question is actually such an important one to answer…..because most likely we are not who we think we are.

A few years ago, I would have rolled my eyes and given a sarcastic answer to this question because I would have no other answer to give.

What kind of answer am I supposed to give?……I am Shayna Abrams, a married woman with children who likes music and loves to cook…..

I now realize that we are the infinite spirit inside of us and not the our finite bodies – nor are we the finite functions of our bodies –  that have been named by the ones who conceived us.

We are not just our names.  We are not just our jobs.  We are not just our particular enjoyments.  We are not just spouses.  We are not just parents.  We are not just friends.

We are far more than all of these things together.  When we limit ourselves to something as trite as the identifications above, we limit the power of ourselves – which is our spirit.

We are limiting ourselves to a finite thing rather an infinite being.

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What You Don’t Know Won’t Hurt You

Everyone has heard the saying “what you don’t know won’t hurt you“……..

But….is this really true?

I know someone who makes a lot of money on the premise of this phase.  He provides a service to people that call him because they need someone to make their living environment a healthier place to live in.

This person does absolutely nothing right in front of their eyes, but convinces them that he has just saved their lives and the lives of their babies and walks out with a check for thousands of dollars.

When I ask him how he feels about steeling money from people daily, his answer is that the customers are happy with his services and can sleep better at night and therefore he deserves the money that they are willingly paying him.

What they don’t know won’t hurt them.

In this case, it even helps them.

Yes, there are cases that lying becomes a critical problem for the person lied to and the liar, but the consequences end up being an appropriate punishment which fits the crime……I am not talking about these cases.  These cases take care of themselves.

My question is how bad is lying, when the lie doesn’t hurt anyone and no one is the wiser to it?

In my opinion, very, very, very bad.

And….not because it is “bad” thing to do.  Sometimes lying has no bad intentions behind it.

I believe that untruths are bad because they are not real.

By lying, you are contributing untruth to the world.

Untruths are fictional.

Fiction is fantasy.

Believing in fantasy is the same as being “crazy”.

Let me put this in another way……

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Reflections of Yourself in Everyone You See

I don’t if this bothers everybody else the way it bothers me….but, it drives me crazy when people complain about the behaviors of others and then proceed to behave in the exact same way they themselves have just complained about.

It doesn’t bother me that they do it, it bothers me that they can’t see that they do it.

I am not bothered by the fact that they do it, because we all do it….but, try pointing it out to someone and watch their defense mechanism go up like a security gate at Area 51.

I don’t even bother trying to point out other people’s denials to them (directly), but I do realize that if other people are in denial…..I am in denial as well.

What I am in denial about is hard to say because I am in denial about it.

But….one way I try to figure it out is by listening to what those that I trust tell me. My kids and my husband are the best sources for this purpose. My daughters do not mince words when it comes to telling me when I am a hypocrite. Sometimes, I do not agree with their conclusions, but instead of becoming defensive, I try to think about what they are saying and if there is any behavior that is questionably hypocritical, I apologize for 1) behaving in a manor in which I have verbally stated that I disapprove of….and 2) disapproving of the behavior in the first place.

If I am able act in ways that I think are “wrong”….they may not be so wrong….who am I to judge?

But….if I proclaim to not like people who lie and I lie…..I should really try to stop lying….and denial is a form of lying.

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Multitasking…a Woman’s Road to Hell

Why do we do it?

Why do we feel the need to be perfect?

Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect make up, perfect career, perfect clothes, perfect home, perfect children, perfect life……..

And…since there aren’t enough hours in one day to do everything perfectly – we multitask.

We talk business during our yoga class. .  We keep up with  the latest fashion trends at work…..We take care of errands on our lunch break…..We clean the house and cook dinner while trying to pay attention to our children…..And we sleep while our husbands are waiting for us to tell them it is a good night to be intimate.

Why do we do this?  Who are we doing everything for?

If you are single and you have a great career that affords you the luxury of pampering yourself – great!!…..But…..how do you expect to add a husband and children into the mix…..unless you give part of that lifestyle up?

Some of you say its no problem….I can do it all.  I am woman.  Hear me roar.

But I want you to be honest with yourself…..we all have to do it at some point in our life…..can anyone really do it ALL – and not fail at something?

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Easy Money, Chapter 1

Everyday, I am going to post a chapter from a publication that the Breslov community in Brooklyn puts out which is based on the teachings of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov.  I will add my two cents on the bottom of the post and those of you who have a few more cents to add….please feel free.

Even though Rabbi Nachman was a Hasid, his teachings are applicable and potentially valuable to all of humanity

Visit my post “The Unique Teachings of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov” for a little introduction to who Rabbi Nachman is and why he is special.

Easy Money, Chapter 1

“The ability to earn a good living, comfortably is determined by a person’s awareness of G-d.  Those who fail to recognize G-d’s decisive role in their destiny, including the realm of finances, senselessly overwork themselves, always in strenuous pursuit of another buck.

But when you feel a pervasive sense of G-d’s presence in your life, then you casually assume a relaxed attitude towards earning your livelihood.  You will attend leisurely to your business, confident in G-d’s generosity to provide, as He does universally for every creature lart or small.

When you’ve identified in your mind that it is solely G-d who determines a person’s financial status, irrespective of human device, then you’ll realize how needless it is to overly strain yourself to eke out a living, for aren’t there an infinite variety of ways that G-d can furnish Man with support?

G-d will shoulder your financial burden and you will never be lacking at His philanthropic hand, if you would just accept the reality of your utter reliance on Him for everything.”

My commentary:

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Should We Continue to Pressure our Kids to go to College?

I know that many people will disagree with me on this subject…..but I think it is time to stop putting so much pressure on our kids to go to college.

Yes, I do realize that college has the potential to increase the opportunities that our children have in their life, presuming that they do well, but college also has the potential to destroy their lives.

Even CUNY colleges are going to rack up about a $30,000 bill by your kid graduates….and college tuition is not a money back guarantee.

If your kid does not find a job in their chosen career, they will be in the same position as everyone who didn’t go to college is in…….having to find any source of work that will pay the bills.

The only difference would be that they had to invest at least $30,000 dollars to find this out.

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To Live a Purpose Driven Life – Part II

Cont from “To Live a Purpose Driven Life – Part !

………..So I wrote a book.

When I wrote the book, I did not have making money in mind.  In fact, I left it on a free website for about a year and forgot about it.  I figured to myself that there is no way I can convince anyone that they don’t have to listen to what other people tell them, I can only hope to provide an inspiring resource to others and if they choose to read it, then great….other than that, I can do nothing else.

One day I woke up and my desire to share my knowledge with others was overwhelming.  This desire was just as strong as my desire for to cheat on my husband when my husband was not fulfilling my need for love and acceptance.

I became “depressed” the same way as I became “depressed” when I felt unloved by my husband.  I needed to fulfill my desire and I couldn’t understand why I was not able to.  How was I going to get my words out?

I started by completing my E-book formatting so that it could be submitted for “premium distribution”, which means that it would be distributed to Barnes & Nobles, Sony, Apple, Amazon and some other outlets.  I also decided to charge a small fee, because I felt that I needed to consider it worth something and by charging money for my creation, I was putting value on it.

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