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Doing “Good Deeds” for Others is Overrated

21 Feb

I ran across an interesting post that implied that we do not need to do “good” deeds for others….here’s the link: Get Happy Tip – Don’t Do Good Deeds

I have never really wanted to come out and say it like that (although I always admire straight forward honesty)…I am glad that I have the opportunity to express how true this statement is to me.

First of all, the reason that I never wanted to write a post about the fact that we don’t have to do “good” deeds in order to be happy is because most spiritual books that you will read in your life imply that doing good for others brings happiness……which is something that I also agree with.

Another reason I have not come right out and said these words is because I find that people don’t like to accept certain aspects of themselves which makes it hard to convey the fact that doing “good deeds” can really be a very selfish act.

In fact, I believe that in most cases it is…..due to the fact that most of us delude ourselves and deny the true intentions behind our behavior.

So….how can it be both?  How can not doing “good” deeds make us happy – and – at the same time the only way we will be happy is if we love others and do good for others (as opposed to just ourselves)?

It comes down to one thing……intention.

What is your intention when you  are doing something for another person?  I can tell you, honestly, that before I went on “strike” from life, I was a “do-gooder”.  Whenever someone asked me to do something for them, I was the “yes” girl.

More like the “of course, whatever you need” girl.

But after doing everybody favors and realizing no one was going to reciprocate in the way that I wanted them to – even if all I wanted was a drop of respect in return…..I started feeling resentful.

I started not liking people and getting angry at them.  I started feeling bad about myself as well.  I also started resenting G-d.  After all, wasn’t I a “good” person?  Why weren’t people treating me the way I wanted them to?  Why wasn’t I happy?  Didn’t I deserve to be happy for all the “good” that I do?

I can’t be the only one to have thought this way.

If this sounds familiar to you, then you need to reevaluate why you are doing all the “good” deeds that you are doing.  Are you doing them for some sort of praise and admiration from others?  Are you doing “good” deeds in order to get outside confirmation that you are a “good” person?

Or – are you doing good deeds for the right reason…..you simply want to…..and you have absolutely no expectation of anything AT ALL in return.

If you are doing “good deeds” with the first intention, don’t bother doing “good deeds” anymore, because you will not find happiness from it.  Why?  Because no one is going to appreciate anything you do for them – unless they love you.  And if they truly love you,  they do not need you to do anything for them.

What they are really appreciating is the way you show your love to them.

I tend to always want to compare human nature vs. the nature of G-d, or the nature of what I would imagine an all powerful, life giving source would be like.  I do this because I believe that we all have part of that source within each of us and we need to be able to tap it in order to feel fulfillment in life.

I would imagine that an all powerful, life giving source (The Life Force of the Universe – assuming that you believe that there is one) would want It’s creations to be happy.

You might ask ..what if The Life Force of the Universe created us for the sake of serving It?

I would respond by asking why would an ALL POWERFUL force require service?

Imagine that you are ALL POWERFUL….

Would you really need anyone to serve you because they were scared of you if you were ALL POWERFUL? Would you really need anyone to serve you at all for any reason if you were ALL POWERFUL?

Would you really need anything other than the ability to provide happiness to those around you?

Would you really need to receive anything if you were ALL POWERFUL?

I think, if we can imagine being ALL POWERFUL, we can imagine that the only thing that we would be able to get fulfillment from is giving…….because we would not need anything at all.

Only those that are not ALL POWERFUL and who think they want to be are going to require service from those that they have deemed not as powerful.

Please think about this for a moment….because there is a very deep truth in this.

Now….let’s come back to the original question….

How can not doing “good” deeds make us happy – and – at the same time the only way we will be happy is if we love others and do good for others (as opposed to just ourselves)?

Intention.

If our intention is to convince ourselves that we are “better” people than others because we do “good” deeds, than we are not acting in a G-d-like – or ALL POWERFUL way.  In other words, we are viewing ourselves as lacking  – which inevitably leads to unhappiness.

If we have to convince ourselves that we are something – than we are not that.

Do you have to convince yourself that you are a human? No – because you are and you know it

……So, why do we have to convince ourselves that we are “good”?

On the other hand, if our intention is to show another love so that they can feel it, then we will always find contentment when doing “good deeds”.

In other words, if we give – not to receive – but because we don’t need anything in return and that leaves us with only giving as an option…..those on the receiving end of our love will always want more, therefore they will always appreciate it.

If you do “good deeds” – or – give to another without the need to receive in return, you will not feel lack and therefore you will feel contentment instead.

I imagine that this is what it must feel like to be ALL POWERFUL.

I imagine that this is what it must be to touch the G-d that is within us all.

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4 responses to “Doing “Good Deeds” for Others is Overrated

  1. fromlifeidletolifefantastic

    February 22, 2012 at 5:45 pm

     
    • Peaceful Controversy

      February 22, 2012 at 7:41 pm

      Thanks for the mention!
      Dumb question….I guess I wait and see if I win the award to write a post?….

       
      • fromlifeidletolifefantastic

        February 22, 2012 at 8:06 pm

        No worries, I was in the same boat and had to figure out the whole award thing. Nope. Once you are nominated, they are all yours. The award acceptance requirements are in the body of my blog. You just follow those, download the pics of the awards and post them to your page. You can take any and all awards I nominated you for. I love reading your stuff, so kudos 🙂

         
      • Peaceful Controversy

        February 22, 2012 at 8:20 pm

        Thanks…and I will gladly accept all of the awards. Keep up the great blogging!

         

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