When I read my posts over just to remind myself of the things I have spoken about – I am also paying attention to where I may have contradicted myself.
When talking about spirituality vs reality (the physical world that we live in), it becomes hard to express everything that I think about in one post. I invariably fail to express everything that I feel about the topic…..because I would not be able to stop typing. And…when I write another post, I still may miss some crucial points that may tie things together.
That is the reason I encourage everyone who is reading my blog to please ask questions. I may not explain something as fully and as coherent as I would have liked and I will never know unless I get feedback telling me so.
Back to the subject….
I have found one pretty major inconsistency within my blog. The topic of sticking up for one’s self.
You might say the right to stick up for one’s self is obvious. It is not so obvious to me according to the way that I think about things. In fact, intention is always the root of behavior so, in this case intention also matters.
Don’t get me wrong – it is never wrong to stick up for one’s self, but there are many different reasons why one would need to and many different ways to do it – and these variables make the difference to me in how I decide the appropriate time to stick up for myself.
Being defensive is not necessarily a good thing. Yes, we all get defensive once in a while…but what is it that we are defending. Are we defending something that maybe we are wrong about and we just don’t want to see the truth – or are we defending our right (and everyone else’s right) to dignity.
That is the question I ask myself (or try to ask myself) if I feel myself becoming defensive.
Here is the difference;
If someone accuses of me of being selfish because I am not willing to put myself out for them, I try and consider what they are saying.
If they are right and I am being selfish – meaning I am not doing a favor for someone because I just want to be mean (that would be a the only selfish reason I can think of) I would reconsider my willingness to help them.
But….if after considering what they are saying and I decide that my reasons are not selfish for not helping them (for example, I feel they are just trying to take advantage of me because they know that I am usually a helpful person) then I will defend myself by insisting that I am not going to help them because past experience has proven to me that they are very willing to take advantage of my help (by continuing to ask for free labor whenever they need it) and I am not willing to allow that.
In fact, I don’t think anyone should be willing to allow others to take advantage of them – and this is the reason I would feel it necessary to defend myself. In other words, I am not only defending myself, but I am defending anyone who may have been used for free labor.
The way I see it is that if you are not being treated with dignity and respect, that means that person may treat others without dignity and without respect. I feel it is an obligation to object to this treatment – because if we all would object to being treated disrespectfully, then maybe disrespect would eventually become extinct.
If I treat someone disrespectfully, I may not have been conscious of it, but I would expect the person I treated disrespectfully to let me know and refuse to accept that treatment from me.
On the other hand, if you are simply just fighting with people because you are always right and everyone is always wrong….I wouldn’t say that this is the best form of sticking up for yourself. Eventually, you will sound like an idiot because no one is ALWAYS right.
And….if someone just wants to annoy you by saying obnoxious things and trying to get you mad and you retaliate with defense…..this isn’t necessary either. That is just encouraging a different kind of bad behavior that should also be extinguished completely from humanity.
Bottom line…..if you are defending humanity as a whole – speak up loud and clear and with dignity…..but if you are defending your own ego……you might want to consider turning the other cheek.
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