If you don’t know about this story, please click on the link below to read the whole story….
What a touchy situation. I get it. We have to take care of our children which includes making sure that the environment does not pose health risks.
My question is this. How is a parent supposed to unbiasedly decide which health risk is worse, being overweight – or – living with low self-esteem your entire life?
I speak from personal experience as I was a chubby kid and teenager and in my 20’s, I finally felt so inferior to thin people that I went to the gym everyday for 2 hours a day for 2 straight years – until I had my first daughter and gained back all the weight…..and was once again depressed that I may not be good enough because I was heavy.
My daughters are chubby and I have a dilemma on my hands – despite the fact that they both have gym memberships and I encourage them to eat healthy (which I truly believe in doing). Should I constantly be on them about their weight – or- should I just let them be happy with themselves and hope that they will make the appropriate decisions regarding their weight (and health) as they get older.
I chose the 2nd option and, to my surprise, my older daughter, who used to be pretty chunky, lost a lot of weight – ON HER OWN and doesn’t really care that she is not as skinny as Paris Hilton. She likes the way that she looks. And so do I.
However, there is still a problem here. There are kids that really could use some help losing weight because they may not even be aware that it is an option – and that alone is a blow to someone’s self esteem.
So, I propose the following solution; Instead of taking children away from their parents and putting them into foster care so that the state can pay for them, why not take that money and offer it to the parents for special programs – like “fat” camps – that will help the kids, instead of hurt the kids.
Parents have to walk a tight rope when it comes to their children. If you drill a child too much about all the things that are wrong with them, you risk losing access to that child when there is a real problem…..they will not come to you because they will not want to be criticized. On the other hand, a anti-disciplinary “friendship” with your child as opposed to a parent-child relationship is not ideal either for obvious reasons. There must be a balance of the two. Finding this balance is the challenge of every parent.
Sometimes it does take an outside source to help your child in ways that a you, as a parent can’t, but that outside source does not have to come in a form of punishment for both the parent and the child. Constructive help is the only help that exists – everything else is judgment and will never be effective.
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