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Gender Balance – Have We Achieved It?

10 Jan

Maybe some of you think we have, at least here in America, but I think the scale is still shaking.

For example, a lot of men still think that the role of a woman is cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids.  The difference between thinking this nowadays as opposed to thinking this 50 years ago is that nowadays, a lot of women aren’t going to hide the fact that they vehemently disagree.  In fact, to a lot of women, this would be insulting to insinuate that the sole duty of the female gender is to take care of the male gender.

Today, I think, believe it or not, that women have the upper hand in today’s world.  I think men are wondering what is going on – where did women get so much power?  We see women power everywhere – all the reality shows are centered around women, entire industries cater to what women want, I even saw a news report the other day that claims that the job recession has hit men considerable more than women because the industries that were hit the hardest are the male dominated ones such as the construction and manufacturing industries.  Clearly, the scales have not settled yet.

This interesting turn of events in relatively recent days is resulting in a fascinating twist in the human story plot.  Men are becoming more feminine.  I DO NOT mean this in a negative way – in case some of you reading this are taking it that way.  What I mean is that since men now have to deal with a powerful, confident kind of woman – as opposed to the subservient, docile kind of woman, unless they want to spend a lot of time alone, they have to learn how to interact with the “new age woman” (which is what I am going to call her from hereon).

They basically have two choices; 1) They can decide to keep searching for that special girl – you know – June Cleaver.  June Cleavers still exist, but it’s like searching for a needle in a haystack – good luck.  OR 2) They can decide to realize that maybe women have a lot more to offer than being a subservient wife (or girlfriend).  They may realize that if they can get in touch with their feminine side and learn how to communicate with the new age woman on a different level, they may be able to get the best women have to offer them – and that is their loving support as equal partners.

In my case, I was the wanna be June Cleaver to my first husband and ended up getting divorced anyway.  With my second husband, it took about a year of the June Cleaver act to realize that June Cleaver is not appreciated.  So I asked myself  – why am I aspiring to be like June Cleaver?  I want to be myself!  Did I know what that was at that point?  No.  But, with the help of my loving husband…I was able to figure it out.

My current husband has spent years learning how to communicate with the new age woman (that would be me) and, trust me, it wasn’t easy for him.  He married me because he liked me, but he also liked the idea of me serving him like a good wife does.  When I decided I was going on strike to learn how to become the new age woman, he took it like a man.  I refused to do anything at all for anybody for more than two years.  My goal was to spend time figuring out what I wanted in life, and I pretty much knew that there were things that I wanted more than teaching aerobics part-time at Bally’s, working part-time in an accounting office and coming home to cook and clean for my husband, my two children and my husband’s brother who lived with us at the time.

I learned a lot about myself during this time.  I learned that all I really needed to be happy was the health of my family and a good book.  I learned that I really did like taking care of my home and cooking a good meal.  I even went to culinary school during this time because I really do love to cook.  I learned that all I really want to do is be home and be a good wife and mother (please read my blog What is a “Good” Mother for a different perspective) to my family.

But – there were some big changes.  The new age woman in me does not do ANYTHING if I don’t WANT to do it.  If I feel for one minute that I am expected to do housework – I will leave it for the “maid” – since I am not her.  If I feel like laying in bed all day and watching television – I do it.  I don’t need permission.  It is my life and I can do whatever I WANT to do.

That is the new age woman in me that my husband had to adjust to.  If you ask him what he thinks of it, he will make a stupid joke that my first husband got the better version, but I know that he actually appreciates me more now.  I know because he tells me that he does everyday.  And..one of the reason he appreciates me more now than before is because he doesn’t owe me anything.  I am not doing him any favors by being me and doing what I WANT to do.  This results in him being allowed to be him.  He gets the same privilege that I do.  Apart from cheating – which we both are not cool with – he can do whatever he WANTS that will make him happy.

And guess what…because of the new-found free will that we have given each other, we appreciate EACH OTHER so very much, that we will do anything for each other – because……all I really WANT is for him to be happy and all he really WANTS is for me to be happy.

If this seems like I am saying something that is too good to be true, don’t knock it till you try it.

So in conclusion..we may think that the genders are balanced, but in actuality, I think the scale is tipping in favor of women.  When the scale stops shaking and finally levels out that will be the day that what I have described above will be the description of everyone’s relationship!!  A partnership that is understanding, supportive, free and EQUAL!

Other posts you might like:

Bachelor Parties – What a Funny Way to Start a Marriage

God Put the Tree There on Purpose

Why Do Women Wear Heals?

Releasing Emotions Makes Us Human

Man & Woman – Friend or Foe?

What is a “Good” Mother?

Why is Life Unfair?

Life is full of controversy so here is a thought to live by:
Why is life unfair?
Because there’s never going to be a system that is fair to everyone.
Shannon Miller
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