I am a woman and I am an emotional one at that. I have been told by many people throughout my life that I have to control my emotions. This may be true, but to what extent must we get them under control?
Is there something wrong with crying because you feel hurt and expressing that to the person that hurt you emotionally?
Is there a problem with blowing up at someone that is consistantly obnoxious and inconsiderate towards you and you kept it to yourself until you couldn’t any longer?
Is there something wrong with crying at every abused animal and starving children ad that comes on TV?
Is it wiser to maintain a stoic front and never let your guard down?
Is it more mature to hold back your anger and sadness?
Who can say what is right when it comes to emotions? Emotions are windows into a person’s soul (in my opinion). You cannot fake TRUE emotion. So, when someone reacts emotionally to something, yes, it is true, maybe the reaction could and should be ultimately “controlled”, but the emotion itself should be released and even more so, explored.
In other words, we all get angry, sad, happy, excited (etc.), but I think that most of us from the time we could talk our parents, teachers, friends, bosses …. programmed us to “control” our emotions, by only acknowledging them if they were displayed in an approved way. The tragedy in this is that most of us are completely not in touch with how we feel. If we feel sad, or hurt about something we may react as if we are angry. If we are really disappointed about something we may pretend that we are happy just because we were taught to look at the bright side of things.
The difference between controlling our emotions and controlling our reactions, according to how I see it, is this; To control our emotions, we have to be able to change them at will. To control our reactions, we have to acknowledge the TRUE emotion that wants to react and figure out how to express that emotion in the most effective way.
There is nothing wrong with emotions. Getting in touch with our emotions allows us to get in touch with ourselves. Getting in touch with ourselves is one step closer to making better choices for ourselves which, ultimately, allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and utilize our free will the way it was intended by the One that gave it to us – The Life Force of the Universe!
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